a day in the life.

name;; Christina.

this blog includes, but is not limited to my ramblings. and whatever else i find interesting.

I already miss you. I just saw them wheel you away, but I couldn’t bear to see your face, covered in a white sheet. I just can’t. I saw part of them take out the tube down your throat and I saw blood. I can’t do this. I’m crying as I type this, appa. I bet if you were here right now, you’d tell me to chipper up and tell me that I’m stupid for crying and typing.

You won’t be here to see Bryant graduate and go into high school. And you won’t be there to see me off on move-in day at college. I won’t see your body filling up a space in the auditorium at graduation, and it won’t be you that will give me away when I marry. What am I going to do without you? You were our family’s stronghold. Our rock. Our amazing, hilarious, and steadfast rock.

I can barely move around the house, because I see you everywhere. On the bed, in your room. At your wallet, which looks placed like you are about to come crashing through the door and reclaim it and say how dumb you were for forgetting it in the first place. Your shaving cream, gel and razor…I could barely brush my teeth. Your work out gear and your worn out leather gloves….I can almost hear “Eye of the Tiger” playing in the background as I see you pumping away, your muscles working hard at the body you were once so proud of.

Dad, I miss you. But I know that you’ve gone to see grandma. Heck, you’re probably playing “catch-up” after so many years of not being able to talk to her. You’re probably bragging about how big Bryant is. And how I’m going to college in the fall. I love you. And I will never forget you; you were the most amazing man in my life. And you always will be. I know that you’re nice and warm up in heaven and that you’re probably aching to become a singer in the choir there…

사랑헤. <3 보고십다.